i swear this love is pure
by MissingMommy
Summary: For Seamus, his relationship with Dean can be traced back one moment in third year. :: Dean/Seamus, for Karyn.


For QL round 5. I'm the Harpies' Captain this season. So many thanks to Bex, Amber, and Jas for beta-ing this.

For Karyn. I hope that you enjoy this!

* * *

 _Love is patient_

Seamus pulls out the last letter he received from Dean. It's been months since he last heard from his boyfriend. He still feels giddy when he thinks about Dean being his boyfriend, something he thought he would never have.

He reads the words that he's already memorized. It's all that he has to remind him of Dean, but it's enough. He believes that Dean will come back; it's the only thing that keeps him going.

Dean wanted him to be safe at Hogwarts. Neither of them could've imagined that Hogwarts would become it's own battleground.

Neville comes into the room, panting heavily. Seamus folds the letter carefully and stows it away under his pillow. He reads it every night to remind himself that this war will come to an end; he just has to survive.

Right now, though, there are children being hurt, and Seamus and the others have a rescue mission. He knows he should play it safe as Dean wanted, but he can't. He's a Gryffindor, through and through. If there's any hope of saving these children from the horrors of the Carrows, he'll take it.

The thought that gets him through the bad days is that he'll see Dean again. Soon.

* * *

 _Love is kind_

Seamus throws the paper across the room, his blood boiling with anger.

"Whoa," a voice says.

Seamus whips his head towards the doorway. His breath catches in his throat as he sees Dean standing in the front of him.

He's running a hand through his hair, wearing a sheepish smile. "Your mum let me in. Didn't realize that you would throw the newspaper at me for it."

"You're ridiculous," Seamus says fondly. A smile crosses his face. And then a thought hits him, and it fades away. "We don't have plans for another week."

Dean picks up the paper from his feet. "How much of the news did you read before throwing it?" he asks.

"You're avoiding the topic," he accuses. When Dean doesn't say anything, Seamus sighs. "I didn't make it past the first page."

He watches as Dean flips through the paper. Dean must find what he's looking for because the _Daily Prophet_ is shoved into his lap. "Read."

Seamus skims the first few lines, narrows his eyes, and reads it again, making sure to read closely. His blood sings with anger.

"This is bullshit," he exclaims as he throws the paper again. "They can't do this!"

"They can, Shay. I'm going into hiding tonight."

He's never seen Dean look so defeated. There's a sag in his shoulders as if he's carrying the weight of the world.

"You came to say goodbye," Seamus concludes.

"I can't risk my family," Dean says. "And I can't go back to Hogwarts. There's no choice but to go."

"You don't have to run," Seamus tells him desperately. "You can stay here with me and my mam."

"No, that would put you two in danger," Dean says. "I won't do anything that would put you in harm's way."

"Then I'll come with you!"

"Are you listening to me?" Dean asks sharply. "I'm not going to do anything that would put you in danger."

"And I'm not letting you go on the run alone," Seamus argues. "That's too dangerous."

Dean sighs, rubbing his face harshly in frustration. "Seamus, I know you want to help but it would be safer for you to go to Hogwarts."

"While you are out on the run? Not a chance," he retorts.

Dean's hands wrap around Seamus' hands, holding them tight. "Please. I won't be able to focus if you're there," he says, his tone pleading. "I need you to be safe."

Seamus sags in defeat, knowing that he can't talk Dean out of his decision nor could he talk Dean into taking him with. His heart aches at the thought because he wants nothing more than to protect Dean but he doesn't know how.

"You better come back," Seamus says thickly. He feels like crying, but the tears won't come. "You better stay alive, Dean. I don't know what I'll do if you die."

Seamus is trying so hard not to give into his emotions that he doesn't feel Dean moving; the next thing he knows is that there's a pair of lips against his own. Seamus' heart pounds in his chest as he closes his eyes.

Far too soon, Dean pulls away. "I'll come back," he whispers. "Just in case, I wanted to make sure you knew that I love you. I was just always too afraid to tell you."

"I first realized I was in love with you in third year," Seamus whispers honestly. He can hardly believe he's spent years in love with his best friend, but now, it no longer feels like a dream.

"Then we are both idiots," Dean announces. He punctuates this statement with a kiss.

Seamus pulls Dean down, laying on his bed. He forgets about the darkness that is waiting for them, forgets about the fear and the terror. He just focuses on this moment.

* * *

 _It does not envy_

Seamus is sitting at a table in the Three Broomsticks with Neville when he notices Dean and Ginny claim a table not too far from them. They are huddled together, smiling at each other, and Seamus' heart hurts.

Neville must see something on his face because he turns to look behind him. He gives Seamus a knowing look as Seamus uses his Butterbeer to hide his grimace.

"I should get back," Seamus says. He knows that he's playing into Neville's opinion, but he doesn't care. "I have homework to finish."

"You're not fooling anyone," Neville says.

"Good thing I'm not trying to," Seamus retorts.

He walks back to Hogwarts by himself. He hates being in the same room as Dean and Ginny when they are together. It's easier to pretend it doesn't bother him if he doesn't see them together.

But he won't say anything because he wants, more than anything, for Dean to be happy; if it's not with him, so be it.

* * *

 _It does not boast_

"Why didn't you tell me?" Seamus demands.

Dean freezes as if Seamus casts a spell on him. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know. I talked to Harry. You made Chaser," he says. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew how much you wanted it," he answers simply.

Seamus frowns. "And what? You thought I would be upset that you got it instead of me?"

"No," Dean says softly. "I just." He pauses, looking at Seamus with an expression that he can't identify. "I didn't want to upset you."

Seamus crosses the distance between them and slings an arm around Dean's shoulder. "I'm happy for you, mate. Really."

Dean gives him a lopsided smile. "Thanks. Let's get to breakfast before we don't have a chance to eat."

* * *

 _It is not proud_

Seamus can't take the quietness of the dormitory and he can't sleep either, so he takes the stairs down to the common room. Dean is sitting at the window overlooking the grounds. He's surprised that he didn't notice he wasn't in bed.

He taps Dean's legs, causing him to look up. Dean gives him a half-smile as he pulls his legs up and wraps his arms around them. Seamus takes it as permission to sit.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Seamus asks softly.

"No. It's all starting to feel real," Dean replies. "It didn't seem like it before."

Seamus draws his legs up to his chest and rests his head on them. He looks at the moon that's high in the sky. "What's on your mind?" he asks.

"Things are bad," Dean whispers. There's something vulnerable in his voice that Seamus doesn't like. "And it just seems like it's the beginning of a much bigger storm."

"We'll make it through," he assures him.

"How can you be so sure?" Dean questions.

Seamus meets Dean's eyes. He smiles. "I'm not, but I'll protect you."

Dean laughs brightly. "We'll protect each other."

"You're right; we'll protect each other. Which is why we'll be fine."

Dean nods, and the vulnerability in his face settles. He turns away from Seamus. They spend the rest of the night in a comfortable silence, taking comfort in each other.

There might be dark things coming but Seamus would face them all to protect Dean.

* * *

 _It is not rude_

Seamus grabs Dean's forearm, stopping him from leaving the Room of Requirement. He drops his hands as soon as it's clear that Dean isn't leaving. "What was that?" he demands.

"What?" Dean asks innocently.

"You could have stunned me but you didn't," Seamus exclaims. "Why didn't you stun me?"

The other boy steps closer to Seamus, frowning. "You're my friend. Why would I purposely hurt you when we both know I won?"

"Because we're training! Because maybe next time it will be a real fight!" he argues.

"This isn't a real fight," Dean counters easily. He searches Seamus' face, furrowing his eyebrow. "Why are you so upset about this?"

Seamus side steps Dean with a murmured, "Doesn't matter."

Dean stops Seamus from leaving with the same move he used just minutes before. "It does matter. To me."

"I mean, You-Know-Who is on the rise. We're practicing our spell work in secret because of it. It's looking more and more like there's a war coming," Seamus expresses. He meets Dean's warm eyes. "And you're hesitating."

"There's a difference between fighting between friends and fighting for real," Dean argues, not looking away. "This isn't a real fight. But I can promise you that if it is real, I won't hesitate."

There's something in Dean's eyes that makes Seamus believe him. "Good. Now, we should get back to the common room before we get caught by the Inquisitorial Squad."

"Let's go," Dean agrees. He throws his arm over Seamus' shoulder as they head for the door.

Seamus lets himself enjoy the warmth of Dean's arm over his shoulder, thinking that it would probably be the closest he'd get to being with Dean.

* * *

 _It is not self seeking_

"No," Seamus hisses.

They had been one step in front of the Inquisitorial Squad all year, and Seamus knew that it wasn't going to last. There are footsteps behind them that are approaching fast that confirm that he was right. Dean shoves Seamus towards the stairs.

"Go," Dean orders. "I'll lead them away."

"No," he repeats. "We go together or not at all."

"We're both going to get caught if we don't split up," Dean argues. "Just go. I'll meet you back in the common room soon."

He doesn't get another chance to argue before Dean takes off, running in the opposite direction, his footsteps loud. Seamus is too stunned to move for a long moment. By the time he comes back to his senses, he can't hear anyone close to him.

He makes it back to the common room without further incident. The more minutes that pass, the more upset Seamus becomes. He paces in front of the fire, his head snapping towards the Portrait every time it opens.

His heart sinks further each time it opens and Dean doesn't come through the door. He's about to fear the worst when Dean walks in.

"You are a bloody idiot!" Seamus exclaims.

Dean just grins at him. "I'm fine," he assures Seamus. "I lost them on the fourth floor and had to wait a bit before I felt it was safe enough to double back."

Seamus' heart rate slows down as he breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn't know what he would do if Dean was hurt because of him, and he hopes he never has to find out.

* * *

 _It is not easily angered_

"Have you come here to argue too?" Seamus asks harshly, angry and bitter. He doesn't have to look at the door to know that Dean entered.

Dean crosses the room in a few short steps. He sits on the edge of the bed and elbows Seamus until he moves over. Seamus sits up with his back to his headboard with Dean next to him. "No, I'm not going to argue with you."

He can feel Dean's warmth radiate next to him. "What are you here for?"

"I have to have a reason to talk to you?" Dean asks softly.

"You seemed to believe that Harry is telling the truth," Seamus answers. "So it would make sense that you would be angry that I don't."

Dean laughs. It's Seamus' favorite sound in the world. "Just because we disagree on something doesn't mean that I'm going to abandon you. We don't have to agree on everything to be friends."

"Friends," Seamus echoes. His anger has disappeared, being replaced by gratitude. "I guess you're right."

Dean bumps Seamus shoulder playfully. "Now come on; it's our first night back. We should be happy."

Seamus grins for the first time since he headed up to Gryffindor Tower after the feast.

* * *

 _It keeps no records of wrongs_

Seamus is eating breakfast when Dean drops onto the bench next to him with a long, drawn out sigh.

"What's wrong?" he asks in between bites.

Dean straightens and starts to pile food on his plate. "I can't find a date to the ball," he mumbles. Then he looks at Seamus with wide, warm eyes and a lopsided smile. "We can go together! You don't have a date either."

There's a cold weigh in Seamus stomach that causes him to lose his appetite. He places his fork on table. He swallows thickly. "Actually, Lavender asked me this morning."

The smile falls from Dean's face and it makes him feel guilty. "Oh, I didn't know," Dean says.

"I thought you were going to ask that Beauxbaton girl," Seamus says quickly. "Which is why I said yes to Lavender. But I can tell her no."

"No, no, it's alright. I can go by myself," Dean assures him.

Seamus doesn't know what to say. He's not going to tell Dean that his heart sank when he was told Dean wanted to ask the Beauxbaton girl. He isn't going going to tell him that he had held out hope for weeks that Dean decided not to ask her.

Most of all, he isn't going to tell the other boy that he only said yes to Lavender because he wasn't brave enough to ask Dean himself.

He mumbles, "Sorry, mate," before gathering his bag and heading to his first class of the day, wishing that the weight in his stomach disappears before lunch.

* * *

 _Love never fails_

After their dormitory is trashed by Sirius Black, Seamus sticks close to Dean. He knows he's no match for a Dark wizard, but it settles his racing heart.

He picks the sleeping bag closest to Dean. For the briefest of moments, Seamus has the urge to curl up next to his best friend and listen to his heartbeat to remind himself they are both safe. He settles further into his sleeping bag instead.

"Do you really think he would've stuck around?" Dean asks.

"He would have to be stupid to stick around," he replies.

"He broke into Hogwarts," the other boy points out.

"I'll protect you," he swears fiercely.

Dean laughs. "He's a Dark wizard, Shay. I don't know how much of a challenge either of us would present to him."

"I'll still protect you," he says.

"Okay, Shay," Dean concedes. "Get some sleep. Just because Sirius Black broke in doesn't mean our classes for tomorrow are cancelled."

"Good night, Dean," he whispers.

He listens to his best friend whisper the sentiment back. He lays there, watching the Great Hall's ceiling. The urge to get closer to Dean comes back in full force.

He would do anything to protect Dean; good, loyal, _kind_ Dean. He would face down all Dark wizards if he had to. Then realization hits him.

He's in love with his best friend.

He turns to look at Dean. The other boy is sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of Seamus' realization. It causes his heart to contract painfully in his chest. He doesn't want this new knowledge to change their friendship; if it does, he hopes it changes for the better.


End file.
